I can’t help but write a short rant about married women & HIV (it’s been on my mind for weeks!). Married women are probably the most frustrating and upsetting ‘HIV risk group’ I have yet encountered in Zambia. For me, the theme of last week was certainly frustration. But really I guess it didn’t start last week, it started a year ago at the AIDS conference in Toronto when an African woman stood up and said “I abstained from sex until I was married, I was always faithful to my husband, I tried to negotiate for condoms… and now I have HIV”… she followed the ABCs, yet couldn’t avoid AIDS. Now that I am in Zambia I am again and again reminded of that woman. I keep meeting women here who have friends who want to use condoms in their marriage but get abused when they suggest it, students whose fathers often cheat on their moms but the parents remain married and most recently a very young, successful, confident, gorgeous woman I met at a party who’s husband hadn’t touched her in 2 years and had repeatedly been caught cheating on her (she said she planned to leave him). My heart aches for these women.
Most simply, I think these stories point out the faults of the ABC approach. However, once you ditch the ABCs what are you left with? Many organizations have tried to empower these women (so they can leave their husband if they need to or feel confident to negotiate for safer sex practices), but I don’t think this is enough. I really have no idea what should be done and everybody I talk to seems equally clueless. Promote female condoms? Dissuade unfaithfulness? Target the men? None of these seem like they’d practically work. It kills me that there is no clear solution to this huge problem.
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2 comments:
It seems that the use of female condoms would echo the problem of these women suggesting to that condoms be used in a marriage. Although FCs are effective when used, there's this candy-wrapper noise that goes along with it - would men find this more desirable to use than regular condoms? Doubtful.
Is there a more discreet way that women can protect themselves? I think that some serious research in the development of a female condom needs to be done! I will send you a graphic for a campaign that I had thought of where, when female condoms are bought in North America a portion of the money is given to FC programs in Africa.
Interesting comments Miss. Andrea. I'm glad to hear what you think. I'm pretty new to the female condom scene, so happy to hear more (I heard about the noise thing). Probably better ones need to be designed, if that's even possible. Please do send over your design (and any other ideas) xox
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